Why on earth do I have insomnia? Why is it that I fall asleep just fine, but then wake up once in the middle of the night with the inability to fall back asleep. I'm up two, two and a half hours every time I have insomnia lately. It's not even as simple as an hour here or there. Last night my allergies kicked in again part of the way though. So I came down here to the livingroom to get on my laptop and let it clear itself up.
As I tiptoed back up the stairs Maddy woke up. So I was with Maddy from 4:10 to almost 5 am this morning. Finally, I couldn't rock her to sleep (she was fighting it so bad) that I gave her a bottle and laid her down. She cried on and off for about 10 minutes. So I was up last night from 2:30-5 am.
I don't see a pattern to my insomnia. It doesn't happen at the same time every month or with moon cycles. It doesn't happen when I eat only certain things. I don't have caffeine after 2 PM, I'm tired when I go to bed. I do know that my glass of wine at night does not help, so I may stop drinking that. I am active during the day, so that's not it. I can't predict when I'll have insomnia. Worrying about it doesn't seem to help but also doesn't seem to hurt. Mid-nights (the herbal middle of the night sleep aid) doesn't seem to do a darn thing for me as Simply Sleeps don't either. I'll take a Simply Sleep before bed and still wake up at 2 if that's what my body deems fit.
Then the recycle guys came this morning. I swear they try to see how far they can throw those bins. Boy, are they loud.
Maddy had a hard time with bed again last night. She was tired, we put her to bed at a decent hour but not too early and she fussed and moaned and groaned for what seemed like ages. Matt went up once, but it didn't help. I think she doesn't like us leaving her side when she's going to bed. I'm pretty sure now it's seperation issues. Well, dear, you know I love you to death. But that's just too bad. You need to go to bed!!! Sleep is good and you need it, we need you to sleep, too.
Maddy just throws off my whole night when she doesn't go to sleep without fussing. I know I had a good day yesterday. It was really good, actually. I didn't have any little 'argh I'm stuck in this house' moments. Maddy and I had a lot of fun. But it's really hard to go to bed in a good mood when Maddy has been fussing for 20 minutes before bed. It really puts me off. I listen to hear a pin drop. Any little sigh sends me into hawk mode. My nerves are on edge when she fusses to sleep and it takes me a long time to get back out of it. So, even when she is asleep, I'm waiting for her to make more noise. By the time she's down, it's 45 minutes before I want to go to bed and then I feel like I haven't had a night (casually forgetting about the two cups of tea and reading the news that morning). Then I go to bed frustrated.
I'm frustrated because I can't quite seem to figure out and fix this bedtime issue. I know we need to stick to something and just do it until she learns that this 'is the way it is'. I think we're going to need to let her fuss it out because going in has NOT been helping. So, I guess from the second we close her door the first time at night until she falls asleep she's on her own. Geez, this will be great. Really looking forward to this. (Note the sarcasm.) It drives me crazy that I know Maddy inside out but can't seem to get her past this sleeping herdle lately. Then I have Matt asking me, "Why won't she sleep? I know she's tired. What should I do?" And of course I have to answer, "I don't know; why are you asking me?"
Now let's talk diet. I'm not saying, "Dieting" but "diet". My diet has been lacking, to say the best lately. Now that I've got the workout part down, I want to start focusing better on what I eat. I want to get back to 5-7 fruits/veggies a day, little processed foods, lots of water (although I'm doing pretty well on that. If I drink, Maddy drinks), and better calcium. I also want to regularly start taking my multivitamin again. I think I need to start laying out my snacks on a paper plate again. I used to lay out serving size portions of fruits/veggies every morning and those are what I snacked off of during the day. Really, I don't snack much. I don't eat a whole bunch of bad stuff during the day or really too much in the evening anymore. But, it's the foods I eat during the day. And it's the 'oh just this once or twice' foods that kill me.
Because, I'm not losing weight. I've been working out regularly since October and the scale is not moving. I know, I know, don't trust the scale look at how everything fits. Well, my shirts fit much better, I must say. I've always gained weight last in my torso and lost weight first in my torso. It's my lower part (thighs, hips, butt) that have been my issue. So, the good? My arms are stronger, my torso is more fit, I have definite muscles in my legs and butt. But I still have a lot of fat covering it. I know I'm more fit now than I was when we got back from San Francisco by looking at the pictures. But I weight more now than I did then. And, while I'm not working now and did have a baby I do know I can drop more of this weight than I have (or haven't). I weighed less and looked better three months after the baby than I do now. It's just starting to get annoying so I will do something more about it.
Thanks to Jess for giving me the ambition to start watching my diet again--Jess's blog is contagious!
My elliptical machine is starting to make a lot of noise. It's in the actual machanics and not the arm. I'm worried it's going to break soon. I don't want to mess with the mechanics before it breaks because I don't want to have to put it back together, but I don't want to go without my elliptical, either. However, I do have a back up exercise bike in the spare bedroom from Matt's mom that I can use if it does break. Just need to clear some room for me to get on it and take the monitor with me. So, at least I do have back up!! I would definitely buy another elliptical machine, though!
Oh, on a positive note, I did have Matt reset up the DVD player in family room so I can sit in pilates, weight and my yoga DVDs. I am hoping on days where I'm not doing much during her second nap I can throw in a DVD and do 20 minutes or so. Yoga and Pilates are great stress relievers in addition to being good workouts.
Ok, well, my little stinker is up! (Or she will be soon!) So I need to run.
Tea of the day: Javana Hazelnut Cinnamon Coffee with splenda and Hazelnut Cinnamon Creamer in my french press. Needed a bigger jolt today!
WO of the day: Will be Elliptical for 30 minutes, situps, pushups (I am really feeling yesterdays) and stretching. Maybe yoga later, or a nap, or a magazine.