So today was Maddy's first birthday. I can't believe she's already one. It just feels like yesterday I brought her home from the hospital and wondered what the heck I was going to do with an infant. Breast feeding was a nightmare so after a few grueling weeks and Maddy losing weight I gave up the battle although that didn't stop me from feeling guilty. After she started gaining weight, seemed happier and slept better, I stopped feeling guilty.
I still wondered if I was doing the right thing, if she was progressing fast enough, eating right and things like that. But after a while, things got easier.
But before I knew it she was laughing, cooing, rolling over, talking, pointing, sitting up and crawling. Where did the time go? Also before I knew it, I was becoming more and more comfortable being 'mom'. At first I'd question my decisions wondering if what I was doing was right, at the right time.. etc. But as time went on I questioned less and trusted myself more. Of course, it could help that Maddy has grown up so much and matured as well. The transition from teaching to staying home wasn't easy, I must admit. I missed my kids, the teaching and my coworkers with whom I was used to talking with every day. I didn't miss the stress of work, the driving, the paperwork... but I missed the rest of it. It didn't help that I went from working with people and interacting all day long to talking to a little person who couldn't talk back.
Matt has really come into his own over the last year as well. At first he was very hesitant although very willing to help. He wanted to know exactly what to do at all times. But as time went on he had less questions and was more self-assured. Maddy just loves her daddy to death. He has his own way about him and does his own thing with her and she LOVES it. Maddy lights up when Matt comes in the door and he runs home to be with her. She snuggles with him and lets him hold her for SOOO long--much longer than anyone else. Matt is Maddy's favorite person. Hands down, no question! She's definitely a daddy's girl!
I still can't believe the little person she has become. She has such a large personality, is so active and loving. She's so smart and catches onto stuff so fast! She looks like a toddler more and more now and so much less like a baby. Her hair has grown so much and became so thick. She has 12 teeth! She definitely knows what she likes and doesn't like. While she can have a temper, she's really even keeled even on very little sleep. She's my little angel.
Happy Birthday Maddypoopoopants! We love you dearly!
Tea of the day: Starbucks Christmas Blend, strong, due to insomnia last night
WO of the day: None today or yesterday. Wound up not being able to fit it in. Will work out this weekend instead.